| 06:14pm 26/12/2007 | |||
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It's been years!! All my previous entries are so.. sad. And blah. But I'm here to say things are wonderful! My life is amazing. Merry Christmas (day late)!! |
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| 03:35pm 09/03/2005 | |||
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prom is in less than a month. im so excited... dress shopping and limo and dinner reservations soon. yesss... beauty for a night! |
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| 04:36pm 11/02/2005 | ||||
and i guess thats what i miss the most.. getting a text message every night. it was nice, the attention i was given via text messaging. and i do miss it. and i do miss him, but thats because losing a friend is never cool. i hate that it ended this way, with absolutely no closure, just simply no talking. it sucks, but life goes on, ill go on. i am going on, actually, with or without my nightly text messages. at least my phone bill wont be so high. |
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optimistic| oh i miss this | ||||
| 11:22pm 07/02/2005 | ||||
i miss it. i miss it all. i miss the bullshit i used to ramble on and on about. i miss the events that were happening in my life that were causing me to write such entries. now, nothing happens. i guess its just that time of the year.. no, sorry, thats a bad excuse. i just feel as though im too cluttered. too much shit going on, half of it doesnt even need to have my concern. but it does because im in a bad mood. i hate school. im getting a fake ID though.. from a friend who somewhat looks like me. that should add a little change to my life. change is good. |
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random| 03:56pm 07/02/2005 | ||||
and as theyre judging me, theyre making fun of me. and as theyre making fun of me, theyre hating me. and as theyre hating me, im hating in return, making my situation ten times worse because im hating everything about everyone, and likewise with his or her feelings about me. -yawn-.. i have to go to work now. excuse the bitchiness. im just really tired and becoming sick. |
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| 04:30pm 03/01/2005 | ||||
report card: pre calculus B+ PSFR (sex ed) A AP english A- amer. hist. B spanish 3 A- phsyics hon. B im trying for straight A's. hope to achieve it this quarter. and everyone seems to be getting along. hes back and its great. feeling physically sick, but other than that, things seem ok. im glad.. finally.. some peace of mind! |
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content| 03:10am 26/12/2004 | |||
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sam this is just for you: post my stoppingtheshow livejournal. i have a new entry and a few responses. i miss that thing sometimes. like right now. |
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| 02:09am 19/12/2004 | ||||
im not getting attached to anyone and im not falling for anyone and im not letting myself get upset when people dont return the flirtation. i just stop and leave them alone, hoping for the best with the next male figure i run into. i find myself being happy with who i am, though i would like to start working out again (i stopped for a little while), and i find myself flirting quite a bit.. even with those i shouldnt be flirting with. oh well, you only live once, might as well flirt with whomever, whenever. ok, maybe not whenever, there are times when it isnt appropriate. the results are usually good. :) even though everything seems to be ok, i continue to remain tired and exhausted, always wanting to sleep. im about to go to sleep, and since im not working in the morning, im going to sleep in. after that, i plan to surf for a little while and then maybe sleep again or go hang with my mom. note to self: start dancing, start shooting around and doing dribbling drills, surf some more.. oh, and.. sleep. |
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| 01:16am 25/11/2004 | ||||
i guess im not getting over it? oh well. yeeeaaahhh........... |
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borracha| 09:04pm 17/11/2004 | ||||
and by this time next week, i should be just fine. please, dear God in Heaven.. im helping myself, please help me, too. amen. |
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melancholy| 10:40am 15/11/2004 | |||
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i need to be cleaning my room rather than typing here. i have three freakin journals. but i dont want to withdrawal from any of them. this deadjournal was my first and will remain the best, but its going to be very boring for a while. sorry to say. |
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| 07:13pm 11/11/2004 | ||||
and then some. i miss something.. i dont know what, but i miss it. |
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pensive| 12:31am 11/11/2004 | ||||
good snack. youre my friend. |
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weird| mom, i swear! | ||||
| 10:37am 10/11/2004 | ||||
no, i make freakin excellent grades. i call you when im supposed to. i do what im told, most of the time, as opposed to most who dont give a damn what their parents say. i get my volunteer hours. i have a job, get paid, and buy my own crap. sometimes i dont listen, and i wish i did because you deserve that respect. but other times i respect you more than you know, more than you want to see. i feel like i do nothing right in your eyes. that doesnt motivate me to want to do anything anymore. if i cant prove myself to my own mother, who the fuck am i supposed to prove myself to? im sick of this. |
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angry| waaaves | ||||
| 06:56pm 08/11/2004 | ||||
its supposed to last all week too. i hope they dont "cop out". i need to surf or else im going to freak out. im already a fidgity (spelling?) person, and now im overwhelmed about not surfing in a while. ah, i cant sit still. i guess thats why i update this thing like twice a day... i cant sit still while im at home doing nothing.. so i type and type and type. i want to hit the poles thursday because theres no school. mike and i are supposed to go surfing together, new surfing buddy. then im sure paulette and i will be hanging out sometime that day. i havent seen her today, nor yesterday, which is very weird considering we spend just about every day together. were volunteering tomorrow and wednesday, hanging out wednesday night because no school thursday. well, looks like ive got the whole week planned out. very nice. maybe a few people will call us and our plans will be altered (for the better) and well chill with some cool cats or something. havent heard from murdock in a while.. maybe ill call him a little later. ok.. i need to go find something to do after im done eating. i think ill go gravity boarding. ramble. lateeee. |
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hungry| 08:39pm 07/11/2004 | ||||
waves, pick up, please, please pick up. i need to let go of some stress and surfing is the best way. ive had this conversation before, im sure you can agree. oh im going to bed. early, all week. 830, 9, 930. early. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
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groggy| 11:24am 07/11/2004 | ||||
because she really cares. no one can tell me otherwise. im sorry paulette, and i love you oh so much! |
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distressed| 04:39pm 06/11/2004 | ||||
its because its in that hour right before you go to work. that hour where nothing is happening, no one is calling, and youre dreading the next few hours. work wont be bad once i get there. but ill be there for a looong time. after that will be fun, though, because my love and i are going to some afterthegoodfortuneshow parties. if that fails, well just gravity board everywhere until the wee hours of the morning, just like we did last night. or lay on our boards, watch the stars, and make figures out of the clouds. its really peaceful that way. that makes me want a guy who would do that with me. i would love to have a guy who would lay around on the ground next to me and watch the sky. that shows me they could do anything with me. not many people find that fun.. i find it fascinating. i have to get my stuff ready for paulettes tonight and eat before i go to work. late. |
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blah| my obsession with incubus at a high as of now | ||||
| 03:31pm 05/11/2004 | ||||
incubus is the epitome of what i call beautiful. oh my gaahh. i could die listening to brandons clearly gorgeous voice, mikes ripping guitar riffs, ben/dirks thump, baby, thump! jose doing his BANGIN, and kilmore scratching the shit out of some turn tables. i love incubus.. heysoos. i wish i couldve seen them when they were supposed to play here, as opposed to riding out yet another hurricane. next time they come to town, better believe i will be on that floor, singing every song, smiling, swaying, jumping up and down.. haha. if theres any time i can let loose, its at an incubus concert. im very reserved and calm, but oooh no, not at an incubus show. they deserve the rambunctious side of me. yes, i love incubus. not just brandon boyd, like most chicks who say they love incubus, i love the whole freakin band. thats what makes incubus, incubus. ok.. ive said about as much as i can about my love for this band. they are amaaaaazing. |
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| 09:18pm 04/11/2004 | ||||
its more private and i can write whatever BS i want to in here. i dont think writing in an online journal is gay. some people do. i dont. hemingway has inspired me to write without emotion. so, im not going to write with emotion. just soft, bland words. i think i like someone. it was a crush, because hes nice to me. not very many people are nice these days. but he is. to me, anyway. so, a crush formed. weve talked a little bit on the phone, havent really hung out yet, and he seems like a very good boy. man. boy, man, whatever. so, now i think i like him. but im not so sure i want to like him, liking people makes everything so difficult. when you like someone, its hard to call them when you really want to, because you dont want to chase them off, or something. when you like someone, you always want to look your best and be presentable.. but you cant always look your best or there would never be a best. when you like someone, its hard to think about anything else, which is unhealthy. and there are other things that happen when you like someone. thats why im unsure if i really like him yet, because none of these things apply.. except maybe the looking-my-best part. plus, whos to say he likes me, anyway? this is the fun part about having a crush.. you dont like him to the point where if he doesnt call, youre crushed, but its fun to talk and you get a little excited when he does call. its fun, it really is. but, im not getting my hopes up. even if he didnt like me, hes very nice, and nice boys make great friends. plus, he loves surfing.. i could use a surfing boy. |
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